REALITY

Will Polygamy be a way of solving the problems faced in the African community?

For most of our lives, we have been taught that Polygamy is bad omen, due to the fact that people will have sex with different people than sticking to one person. This is a tricky subject, and it is needed to be addressed.

Well I have interviewed many people about their thoughts towards polygamy especially men. Many of them say it is good due to the fact that it blocks the women from becoming single mothers, it creates family to be one big, happy family. It also builds unity amongst women. And the interesting part many women are saying the opposite. Women say it creates war towards other women e.g women would fight each other through sorcery. It doesn’t create unity but instead misunderstanding, and at times in those fights, women would involve their children. Sometimes they will not be properly maintained or given any financial and emotional attention equally and sometimes financially involving the children; they might not get the equal share. It creates favouritism they say.

For me Polygamy is the most beautiful thing that had transpired in the universe but in this modern day, it is as good as bad. Because many men in today’s world, are taught to dominate than leading. Men are being to be domineering in their households, sometimes to be disrespectful and abusing towards women and children especially in the Mother Land, Where it has first started as beautiful thing now has turned a nightmare due to European colonialism and ancestral curses that we’ve indured from time to time.

We tend to forget that we come from different past sexual/romantic relationships, and in my view it cause a whole lot of mess for a common polygamous marriage. Past sexual/romantic relationships can cause trauma and stress if people decide to go towards polygamy while not healed because of the energies they have taken in their lives. As well there are a lot dark entities that possibly encourage people to have polygamy due to the fact they got those sexual energies somewhere and now its almost a requirement for them to have sex every now and then

Polygamy was meant for perseving virginity. Only virgins would get married. Men were not supposed to choose the women to marry but the family was one to make a decision on who the man has to marry, to keep the bloodline pure, same thing to the wives, they were the ones who were given power to choose a man for the wife or not and they were given high power way more than the man’s family to be authentic or put authority into order. But in today’s world, men are the ones who choose who to marry, the man's family as well chooses the husbands wives to marry and the the wife is not allowed to use her authority. Often the wife’s authority is crushed due to the fact that they ''own her'' because the an certain amount of money from the dowry(Lobola) they paid. It is sad really, as writer and founder of Naledi Magazine, I often challenge men to think about their expectations from women. Yes women too are to be blamed for being expecting too much but probably they are using this as weapon for protection, who knows. But what I am saying is Polygamy in this modern age it simply will not work out. Due to the fact heat we have indured so much from the European/American masters and also the ancestral curses too from the abominal acts we have done on the spiritual realm, sometimes by our forefathers and ancestors e.g using the giftings and talents for evil purposes or for material gain

WHY AM I SAYING POLYGAMY WILL NOT WORK

• We need to heal ourselves first. Though it will take a lot of time to heal. A very long time to do that

• We need crush the societal systems and start to listen to each other

• We need to learn the deeper aspect of what a woman and a man is than being defined by our society

• We need to decrease the level of hypersexuality to understand the concept of polygamy

• Learn more of how our African traditions worked when Polygamy was implemented

• We need to observe our African traditions and carry out the procedures very well, when planning to be involved in Polygamy